Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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