I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
