The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Randomize
