He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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