Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
