i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
