I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
