I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
