You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
