I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
