Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
