My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
