Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm like, not good at living.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
