he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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