So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
