No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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