is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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