Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
