what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
