hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
