i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
