exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
