Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Randomize
