i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
