There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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