question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't think brook has ever known best
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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