weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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