Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
