Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
