He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
