Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
