So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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