Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
