Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
