i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
