do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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