you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
