I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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