Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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