Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
