I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
