That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
