so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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