I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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