she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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