Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
