Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
