i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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