He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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