My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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