Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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