I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
